Lost on Mars
Discovering a male-dominated reading list prompts a personal shift, leading to my first resolution for 2024.
Flying paper planes.
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Life Escaping Life
Failing to be mindful during my parents' visit, I try to slow down and cherish our time together by punctuating the present with instants of deep attention.
Jobless but Balanced
Drawing from good habits, I reach work-life balance, but the irony isn't lost on me.
Here Comes the Hulk
When insecure, I sometimes fall into the trap of trying to control my surroundings. By failing to turn inside instead, I escalate my troubles as my helplessness and discontent increase.
No Excuses
After becoming a parent, I notice how easy it has become to make excuses for not doing things. I have no choice but to let my mind create long lists of why-nots, but I learn to ignore them all the same.
Dead Time
In conversation, I unintentionally refer to a part of my morning as 'dead time.' Leaving me worried, I resolve to be more attentive to the mundane.
Heal
I'm bringing up the topic that is critical to good health, yet I least like discussing: nutrition. And I share the current state of my own diet.
Courage Again
I discover what matters to me and resolve to ensure my day-to-day actions are consistent with my words.
Spike It
Opening up to tiny experiments and making important discoveries along the way.
Surprise
A couple of months into parenthood, my friend Seren asked me what surprised me most about becoming a parent. It’s how wildly different life is and…
Black Hole
A few weeks into parenthood I discover a thread of perfectionism in my life. But also that parenthood has no patience for perfectionism.
Life Suspended
It’s been three weeks since our baby boy, Dylan, was born. And I’m trying to figure out how to be a parent and remain some of my old self.
Stop Thinking You Are Special
“Stop thinking you are special,” a remark that helped me stop stereotyping myself, feel less lonely and evolve into a more bearable friend.
One Big Thing
After years of following many pursuits, I’m changing directions and committing to one big thing for 2022.
Learning Optimism
For 2022, G and I picked a quote for our New Year’s tradition–inspired by our move to Europe and the coming of a baby boy.
Courage for Sale
More than once, I had gone back on this purchase. I was staring at the product page of the Eve & Keel solar plexus chakra roller. It promised courage for 24 pounds. I read the description once more: Silence self-doubt and tap into strength, courage and abundance with this powerful blend of sandalwood, grapefruit, cardamom […]
Turning Insult Into Strength
How I dealt with an unkind email from someone I know, turning insult into strength. Plus, the introduction of Slow Retreats.
Stress
Sharing my routines and strategies for moderating stress, including recommended reading on the topic. Plus, a new post: “The Story of Us.”
Nomad No More
As G and I return to our home in Amsterdam, I realize I long for a standstill more than ever. Also, sharing a new post: “Everything I Never Told You.”
Four-Day Workweeks
How a four-day workweek during the summer months has been providing the work-life balance that works for me.
In Another Life
About a longstanding wish to make an idea that’s my own come to life, and how I’m using the sadness that accompanies it to show the way.
Shifting Sands
As G and I look for a new home in Europe, I realize that I’ve become more attached to my routines. And I wonder if my desire for roots can coexist with moving around.
We Need to Talk
A list of related and recommended resources to accompany my talk for Subvisual.
Less Mad
For April’s newsletter, I write about learning positive self-talk. I also share five new books, a tiny React app, and Neo’s Tree’s recipe to PDF feature.
Keeping Secrets
How I killed a goofy project by telling people about it, and the reason why from now on I’m keeping secrets. Also, sharing my favorite things from 2020.
Doing Nothing
Talking about my intention for 2021: to schedule more time doing nothing. Also, sharing a new post about The Knitting Club’s second season.
Prove Them Right
Hi, All! I hope you’re doing well. ❤️ Recently, I received a job offer. The company in question asked me to become their front-end lead. I told them I couldn’t do that. Twice. Before this company, there were others. And I had given them all the same answer––Thank you, but no. On my first job […]
The Silver Lining
Hi, All! How are you? ☁️ Ever since G and I moved to Singapore, we said that we just needed to go travel whenever city life would get to us. Then 2020 happened, and that wasn’t an option anymore. Our initial response was to escape for good, but our landlord held on to our contract, […]
Moving Into Fear
Hi, All! How are you doing? 🌵 When I stood at the shore of the Indian Ocean for the first time, my stomach turned as the water below my feet pulled away. Still, I took up surfing the next day. And when I got dragged out from that same shore and under the water surface […]
Counting the Bounty
Hi, All! How are you? 🍁 In the Northern hemisphere, we’re nearing the season of the harvest. It’s the time when people take stock of their crops and begin preparations for quieter times. It’s also the season of giving thanks, and the months in which nature winds down and changes dramatically. Singapore is in the northern […]
Play
Hi, All! How are you doing? 🌈 ❤️ About three months ago, I moved from denying the reality of the virus into designing a plan to stay sane. I decided to double down on my good habits and invest heavily in leveling up my coding skills and career. The doubling down, however, wasn’t supposed to […]
Be More Like a Man
What’s missing? What brought me here? What am I trying to prove? What would life look like if I had nothing to prove, not even to myself? We were four days into the second week of The Habit List, and these had been my Most Important Questions so far. For the fourth chapter of The […]
Permission to Write
Hi, All! How are you doing? 🦖 I’ve been chasing my memories, looking to uncover the stories that make up my life. In my pursuit, I discovered something I forgot: I always used to write. I copied text, any text, just so that I had lines to pen. I pounded on my parents’ typewriter; pretending […]
Staying Sane
Hi, All! How have you been? 🌤 When the virus took hold of the world, one of my first thoughts was that I was going to need a system that would prevent me from going crazy or becoming too sad. I worried that certain blues and issues, which would be hiding in the backwaters of […]
Surrender
Hi, All! How are you? ❤️ I hope you’re staying healthy and sane. About two months ago, I slipped on the ice. I tore my MCL in two spots, dislocated my kneecap, and broke bits of cartilage and bone. People told me it could’ve been worse. Others said the universe was telling me to slow […]
Sabotage
Hi, All! How are you doing? 🌈 I’m sitting by the bank now, doing pretty fine. But before this, there was the rush. It always happens like this. I stop eating my frogs first thing in the morning. And I let my mind hoax me into what-else and what-more. I add one more to-do to […]
Apologies
Hi, All! How’s life? 🌿 A few years back, I had the strange urge to write a testament. One part of this self-inflicted exercise included another self-inflicted exercise, me apologizing to all the people I had (knowingly) hurt, since. People I didn’t expect to reply, replied. Others didn’t. And with none did I repair […]
Better Than Ever
Hi, All! Happy New Year! 🌬✨ Reflecting on this year’s end-of-year review, I discovered that I’m doing better than ever. My inner world is evolving. And I’m more mature and kinder than I ever was. Steadily, I’m able to recognize the negative and crowd it out with the positive. I’m trusting to know when I need […]
Finding My Craft
Hi, All! How are you? 🌌 These weeks, I end my coding days with reluctance. When I do peel myself away from the keyboard, it’s mostly because I know that without rest, there’ll be no code. Periods like these have been a common occurrence ever since I learned to code. But I was hesitant to […]
Peace
Hi, All! How are you? 🍃 Since last month, I’ve been taking my walks and slow weekends more seriously than ever. I’m also reading more books about meditation and being. A few days ago, when I was stressed, I tried detaching from that feeling, following an instruction from the book Awareness. Instead of saying, “I’m stressed,” […]
Home Stretch
Hi, All! How are you? 🐼 I’m back in Singapore, easing into my days with mini yoga sessions and home-brewed slow coffees. Three months until the new year, the home stretch feeling has kicked in. Now is the time that I revisit my decisions and goals for 2019 and look to complete what’s left. As I […]
A Temporary Mess
Hi, All! How are you? ✨ Since the last time I wrote, I spent a couple of weeks in Tel Aviv and then flew to Barcelona from where I write to you now. My days have been long and short at the same time. And it feels like forever since life took over my life. […]
Vulnerability
Hi, All! How have you been? 🌈 I’m doing pretty well again. But I haven’t been feeling this good for a while. I was suffering a hit to my confidence. And just this morning, on a call with a group of new friends, I managed to kick the last lows. I’ll tell you the who’s […]
Begin Again
Hi, All! How are you? 🌬✨ Last month, I did a writing challenge and wrote twenty minutes a day for thirty days. I wrote when I was tired, scared, and stressed, and stressed, scared, and tired. I wrote when I had already written code for ten hours, and my eyes threatened to go on a […]
Wish Making
Hi, All! How have you been? ❤️ Lately, I’ve been thinking about wish-making again and how my wishes, as far as I can remember them, always come true. Itja, a dear friend and spirit mother of sorts, calls me a Zondagskind, which literally means “someone who’s born on Sunday,” which I’m not, but in a […]
Resistance
Hi, All! How have you been? 😌 I write to you from a battlefield of broken “just-after-thises.” Except for a trace of blank pages, I don’t have much to show for. Unless, of course, that sorted sock drawer is somehow of any interest to you. No, I do apologize. This was never my intention. On […]
The Darkest Question of All
Hi, All! How are you? 🌬❤ I spent my weeks ruminating the answer to the darkest question of all: What should I do with my life? Such. Fun. It wasn’t until today, however, that I realized it’s not that I don’t know the answer, it’s that I’m asking for guarantees. I want to be sure […]
Morning Rituals
Hi All! How are you? 🤗 I’m feeling somewhat bruised. My day-to-day is under attack, my career and relationships the main targets–for now. I’m not entirely surprised. I was flying high. And what goes up, yup, must come down. Nothing new. Almost getting comical. Nearly getting used to it. It’s fine, I told the uncontrollable the […]
New Year Commitments
Hi, All! Happy New Year! 🤗😘 I hope you had a fantastic end of the year. Mine was purposely mellow. I traded the champagne for an early night and celebrated the first day of the year with a clear mind and a morning walk. Last year, I did the same. I like it so much […]
End of Year Reflections, Past Year Review
Hi, All! How are you feeling? 😚 I’m usually quite excited about December. It’s my cloak of invisibility. G and I don’t have any family obligations, and the rest of the world seems too busy to care about what I’m doing. And I, gratefully, get to draw inward. End of the Year Exercises When you […]
Self-Care
“That was a good one, yeah?!” A man with a beige fishers hat and a proper English accent asked as I paddled past him. “Yeah,” I said, “But I think I didn’t take it so well.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I thought, “No, no .. why the added doubt?” In the […]
Bringing Back Dating (+ Fall Equinox, and the Keto Diet)
Hi, All! How have you been? 🤗 I decided to bring back artist dates into my life. Artist dates are dates that I plan with myself, and then force myself to go on. You’d be surprised to find out just how difficult it is to show up for a date with yourself. After four rounds of […]
To-Dos
Hi, All! How are you? ♥️ A few weeks ago, I found myself in possession of a self-inflicted, never-ending to-do list that demanded to be crossed off. I always seem to end up with one of these when I get back from traveling. It stresses the hell out of me, and before I know it, […]
Fear of Flying
Hi, All! How are you? 😊 I’m getting ready to fly out of Amsterdam tomorrow. By the time you get this letter, I’ll be two days into my web development training in Toulouse. The tension inside me is slowly building up. And while I try to keep it at bay, I can’t help but catch myself […]
Coding = Writing
Hi, All! How are you? 🤩 I’m visiting my parents in Sarajevo. It’s the beginning of my Europe trip on which I’ll also be visiting friends in Amsterdam and G’s parents in Madrid. A couple of weeks ago, I added Toulouse to this itinerary as I signed my first contract as a web developer. Starting […]
Mastery
Hi, All! How are you? 🤩 I was on a coding cloud, infatuated with my new career as a web developer. For weeks, I would wake up at 06:00, sneak out of bed, and start coding until my eyes turned square, twelve hours later. After finishing my first freelance project a couple of weeks ago, the […]
Milestones
Hi, All! How have you been? April was quite the month for me, as I got my first gig as a web developer. I’m working freelance for a startup called Fastgardener in London. The first week on the job, I was scared, overwhelmed, and beyond happiness, all at the same time. I think I’m still […]
Fear
Hi, All! How have you been? I just came back home from two weeks of yoga and surfing in Sri Lanka. It was precisely what I wished for after two months of coding: a shitty internet connection and a focus on my body rather than my brain. Tomorrow though, I’m getting back to coding. And […]
On the Other Side of Code
Hi, All! How have you been? Six weeks into my coding bootcamp, I’m starting to feel somewhat like myself again. Our class has been divided into teams now, and we’ve begun working on our final projects. I’m looking forward to seeing what we’ll manage to do in the last two weeks and to share the […]
Trust, More Decisions
Hi, All! How are you? I’m about to enter into the third week of my coding bootcamp, and I’m feeling rough. The first two weeks of coding were tough. And the experience hit me hard. My emotions are all over the place, and I can’t seem to figure out why. My best guess is that […]
Decisions
Hi, All! I wanted to catch you ahead of the craze and wish you a happy New Year! 🌬✨ Thank you for sticking with me in 2017. I loved having you around. Decisions, Not Goals New Year’s resolutions, goals, challenges.. love them or hate them, set them or don’t, they’re in the air anyhow. For 2018, I wrote […]